You sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Your pronouns are seek and destroy. Ever since you were a boy you dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on foreigners. People told you that a person being a helicopter is impossible but you didn't care, you're beautiful.

Strike back against the heliphobes and haters with these beautifully-embroidered hoodies stitched by our crack squad of seamstresses.

• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)
• Air-jet spun yarn with a soft feel and reduced pilling
• Double-lined hood with matching drawcord
• Quarter-turned body to avoid crease down the middle
• 1 × 1 athletic rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex
• Front pouch pocket
• Double-needle stitched collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem

Size guide