I’m sure your kid is wonderful. Really. I’m sure they’re smart. Funny. Gifted. And destined for greatness.

But I came here to drink coffee, shop, eat, attend a wedding, ride an airplane, stand in line, or generally exist in public—not to become an unpaid member of your childcare team.

These hilariously blunt socks are for adults who prefer their interactions with children to be planned in advance and approved by all parties involved.

Perfect for cranky adults, empty nesters, exhausted teachers on their day off, frequent travelers, retail workers, and anyone who’s ever had a sticky-handed stranger unexpectedly choose them as a new best friend.

Child-free personal space isn’t a crime. Neither is wanting to enjoy it.